For You, Roxas
by F-cktheWorld
Summary: When you've lived with someone a long time you generally take them for granted. Today Hayner learns that you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Oneshot. HaynerxRoxas. R&R please! T for slight language.


Hayner's hands trembled as he stared down at the paper in his hands. Two tears splattered onto the carefully inked letters as he reread the words over and over again. Olette was in bed right now, he could hear he sleeping. At least she couldn't see him cry right now. He and Olette shared a house but there had always been a tension between them, which is why he felt awkward mourning in front of her. "Oh God Roxas..." he choked, "I'm so sorry. So fucking sorry..." His eyes lingered on the poem he had just written, still unsure of where he'd found the words to write it. It wasn't the best poem in the world but it meant so much to him, like Roxas himself did. Taking a deep breath, he began to read it one last time.

_I remember the first time I met you._

_4th of January, back in Year 6_

_Ah, it was a wonderful day_

_I'd been excited all through school because I knew you'd be waiting for me when I got home_

_I was right_

_That night I stayed awake, just listening to you breathe_

_God, I was so proud!_

_All those years we spent together..._

_I really did love you, you know_

_I know I wasn't the best person around and I didn't say it much_

_But I loved you_

_With all my heart_

_These past three years..._

_I feel as though I failed you_

_Sometimes I wouldn't even notice you_

_Putting computers and myself first all the time..._

_Pathetic_

_I really did let you down, didn't I?_

_Every day I would watch you grow closer to her whereas I would be alone_

_I know it's my own fault_

_But still, I loved you_

_Then came the news that would change my life_

_You were dying_

_I prayed_

_Every_

_Single_

_Night_

_For you_

_I don't know why_

_I could have done so much more..._

_Then of course the dreaded day arrived_

_I spent a few minutes holding you before I knew we'd never see each other again_

_Your breathing was laboured and you were so, so thin_

_I just hoped with all my heart that you might maybe get well within those few minutes_

_Why didn't you?!_

_When you left with her I didn't cry_

_I just waited_

_Then she came back_

_Tears streaming down her face, voice hoarse_

_I knew it had happened_

_You were gone now_

_And what did I do?_

_Nothing_

_I didn't even cry for you_

_I went to your bed and took the only gift I had ever given you_

_"This will be our keepsake," I told her, tears in my eyes_

_I'm crying as I write this_

_I'm listening to I'm Already There by Westlife_

_It will be your song_

_And I will think of you whenever it plays_

_Why couldn't I have been a better person?_

_Why couldn't I have made your life happier?_

_I didn't even help with your medication like she did_

_I didn't make your final week happy like she did_

_I miss you so much_

_I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, you know_

_If only things had been different_

_If only I had strived for you_

_I should have done something_

_Three years of neglecting you!_

_I'm not a bad person and I'll never be perfect_

_But I should have tried_

_I love you_

_So much_

_And now I will live forever with this pain_

_Because I never_

_Said goodbye_

Three more tears slid down his face. All he wanted to do was run to Roxas and hug him. But he couldn't. Roxas was gone. No matter how much he hated it, disease had claimed the blonde's life that afternoon. Pain shot through him like a volt of electricity. "Roxas...come back..." he whispered. Olette must have awoken because he soon felt the warmth of his housemate's body as she hugged him tightly. He hugged back without hesitation. "Why is he dead? Why didn't God listen to me?" he croaked. Olette stroked his hair softly. "Because life isn't fair," she replied in a hoarse voice. "I miss him though! I miss him so fucking much!" Olette's tears were beginning to soak Hayner's shirt and vice versa but they took no notice. They remained like that for a while, saying nothing. Just holding eachother and crying.

Crying for a friend.

Crying for a housemate.

For a lover.

For Roxas.

* * *

**I never thought I'd write something like this! **

**For those of you who didnt understand:**

**Roxas, Hayner and Olette lived together but Roxas and Hayner were lovers. However as time progressed, Hayner became more distant whereas Roxas and Olette grew closer. Then Roxas died. Of blood cancer. This is just what happened after the death.**

**Roxas, Hayner and Olette (c) to Square Enix**

**I'm Already There (c) Westlife**

**Poem (c) Me**

**I wrote the poem for someone close to me who recently died so if you dont like it then whatever but it means a lot to me. The entire poem thingy is based on fact. Not Kingdom Hearts fact but actual my life fact.**

**Hope you enjoyed!  
**


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